2009/04/12

a new leaf

the pattern that i'm enjoying working on most right now is the one i call the leaf in my head. it's in a pale green and i'm working up my cape prototype. i've worked with this stitch pattern before, and it's so relaxing and rhythmic to my hands and mind that it's a good meditation to work on.

and i do need to work on my meditation. which is a laugh; meditation is supposed to be non-work, but it's coming so difficult to me. this is one place i do try not to self judge, but there i was, doing so just now.

but i've caught an upswing, it happens this time of year, frequently, coincident with spring and my birthday. i'm not a religious person, but i do celebrate my birthday with a festival amount of energy and happiness. this isn't really a terribly egotistical thing as might be supposed, it's simply to celebrate my own arrival, to give gratitude for the moment of my emergence into this world. (and as always, a moment of gratitude for my mother, as i squirm a bit for her.) it's a convenience, easier than celebrating the day that i first deciphered words via reading or began to communicate myself to the rest of the world in spoken or written words.

i was gifted with a trip to breitenbush hot springs, which is a retreat as well as the spring tubs and found it incredible. the literature and people of the place communicate a desire to provide an atmosphere of renewal and respect and sanctity. a community environment, but minus the loudness generally present in places like rivers and beaches.
it was spring or summer in the pools, and winter, with snow on the trees on the mountains across the river from us. and the noisy river, working hard on its work to make it to the pacific, i think. or to make it somewhere, and breaking down the big rocks into smaller ones, making stones, then pebbles, then sand.

i happily take this chance to turn a leaf, and to embrace all the crawly critters that have taken up habitation underneath.